i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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