So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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