So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
