u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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