I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize