My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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