I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
