have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
