can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
