how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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