He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
babies were throwing up all over the place
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
