He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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