When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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