And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
