i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
