I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
