it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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