I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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