He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
