(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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