Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
