You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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