That's when you crack a 10am beer
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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