If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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