Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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