Nicole vs. Life
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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