i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize