I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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