She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
