Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize