I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
