i think my mom watched the whole time
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Panties = found
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize