it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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