Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
