Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
