but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
