ya dads aren't the best wingmen
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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