i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
