Its about making memories worth repressing
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
