oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
