dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
