It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
