Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
