Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize