he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
