I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
