he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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