I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
