he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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