so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
