I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize