I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
