just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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