Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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