I'm going to jail i love you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she looked like the before picture.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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