you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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