You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
