just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
