just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
