oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
