Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
