My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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